A few posts back I asked for your prayers for MCK Mama and her baby Stellan; they have had a gruelling week and a half, an absolute rollercoaster of emotions. Please continue to keep them in your prayers. In reading all her post and following their story it has made me think about my own children, how much I love them and my roll as their mama.
I always knew that I wanted children; when Matt and I were dating and early on in our marriage we had thought that we wanted only 1 child. There were many reasons, of which I won't go into now. But, then we had Allie and I don't think I was 24 hours postpardum and I was already thinking, I could totally have another. I was already missing that feeling of having her inside and so close to me. Maybe that is partly why I love nursing, I love that feeling of closeness and that bond that you have with them. So gradually our opinions started to change and around Allie's first birthday we started to talk about having another and all those things that you then start to think about like; how far apart "you" want them to be and if you can afford it and do you have the room. I bet you are wondering at this point, "where is she going with this?" well, after we decided that we did want another baby at some point I started to think about how could I possibly love another baby/child the same or as much as I love Allie? And a very wise older (but not old) friend, Sharon said to me that she had once thought the same things and that you just do and can love all your children and that it is just amazing. Can I tell you that as soon as I/we found out we were pregnant with Jack and after the shock of that wore off I knew that I would love him as much as and the same as his sister.
Words can not even describe how much I love my children and how having them has changed and enriched my life so much. I feel that I have a deeper relationship now with my husband. I get to now see him as my bestfriend/soulmate/husband and a great father. They have taught me to appreciate the small things and every day.
I am grateful for...
my children, husband and family.
every moment that I have with my children.
all the time that I have to spend with them this summer, before I have to go back to work.
every moment that I have with them... wether it is to just snuggle, hold them or to smell their sweetness.
I do not think that if I was going through such difficult times as Mck Mama that I would be able to handle it so well and have such deep faith in Him as she does. I hope I would but I just don't know. Please continue to pray for both of them.